@Conversations with Idiots
@Conversations with Idiots
I was passing by a bookstore recently around Ikeja, Lagos State and I saw the caption on a book cover - "Conversations with idiots"
Within me i felt enraged that why would someone take all the pain to author a book and title it such ridiculous and repulsive titling. I immediately concluded such a book can never sell! Why would I or anyone waste their time to sit with an idiot and hold a conversation? Obviously, it's a fruitless exercise.
About a week later, while I was already in bed to sleep, the headline flashed through my memory with vigour and live compelling me to revisit and review the idiotic title. I noted it in my diary to start work on it the next day. After turning my reflective research lights on, this is what I came up with:
A clever reference to the famous play "Conversations with an Idiot" by Russian playwright Anton Chekhov! The play is a satirical comedy that explores the absurdity of conversations between an intelligent and sensitive person and a foolish and obtuse one.
The English dictionary describes an idiot as a person of low general intelligence; A person who makes stupid decisions; a fool; A person of the lowest intellectual standing; a person who lacks the capacity to develop beyond the mental age of a normal four-year-old; a person with an IQ below 30.
I want to add that the following people are no different from an idiot - the too stubborn, the too rigid, the i-too-know, the I don't-know-anything, the simple-minded, the closed-minded, the narrow-minded, the friend-of-all, the enemy-of-no-one, the always-righteous, the unprincipled, the any-how, the unbridled tongue, the lazy-minded, the stagnant-minded, the unwilling-to-change, the too self-centered, the too-egotistic, the arrogant and so on.
The stunning reality is that these types of people abound around us, we encounter them every now and then in our family, school, workplace, in the bus stop, market, place of worship, on the street, in government. It may be funny and damning to say we are already surrounded by idiots but that's the truth! Hence, navigating conversations or interactions with difficult or seemingly less rational individuals can be challenging. It's important to approach such situations with empathy, patience, and strategic communication skills. The following tips can come handy in handling interactions with idiots effectively:
đź’ĄStay Calm and Composed
Maintain Your Cool: Keep your emotions in check. Getting angry or frustrated can escalate the situation.
đź’ĄBreathe and Pause: Take deep breaths and pause before responding to maintain composure.
đź’ĄPractice Active Listening
Show Empathy: Try to understand their perspective, even if you disagree. This can help in defusing tension. Be non-judgemental.
💥Clarify and Paraphrase: Repeat back what they’ve said to ensure understanding and show that you’re listening.
đź’ĄAvoid Confrontation
Be Non-Confrontational. Frame your responses in a way that avoids direct confrontation or blame.
Use “I” Statements: Express your views using statements like “I think” or “I feel” to avoid sounding accusatory.
đź’ĄFind Common Ground
Agree When Possible: Look for points of agreement to build rapport and reduce defensiveness. Don't seek to win the argument.
đź’ĄShift Focus to Solutions: Steer the conversation towards finding a solution or compromise. Don't seek to change an idiot or their opinion by fire.
đź’ĄStay Clear and Concise
Simplify Your Points: Use clear and simple language to convey your message effectively.
đź’ĄAvoid Jargon: Steer clear of complex terms that may not be understood, leading to confusion.
đź’ĄSet Boundaries
Know Your Limits: Recognize when a conversation is no longer productive and politely end it if necessary.
đź’ĄBe Firm but Polite: If the discussion becomes disrespectful, assert your boundaries calmly and respectfully.
đź’ĄUse Humor Carefully
Lighten the Mood: Appropriate humor can defuse tension and make the conversation more pleasant.
đź’ĄAvoid Sarcasm: Sarcastic remarks can be misunderstood and worsen the situation.
đź’ĄSeek Understanding, Not Victory
Aim for Understanding: Focus on mutual understanding rather than winning the argument.
đź’ĄBe Open-Minded: Be willing to adjust your views if presented with new information.
đź’ĄPractice Patience
Take Your Time: Give the conversation the time it needs without rushing to conclusions.
đź’ĄEncourage Thoughtfulness: Ask questions that prompt the other person to think deeply about their position.
💥Know When to Walk Away: If the conversation is going nowhere, it’s okay to agree to disagree and move on.
đź’ĄPolitely Exit: Leave the conversation gracefully if it becomes unproductive or hostile.
Imagine you’re discussing a controversial topic with someone who seems irrationally stubborn:
You: “I understand that you feel strongly about this issue. Can you help me understand your point of view better?”
Them: “It's obvious! Anyone who disagrees is just wrong.”
You: “I see that this is important to you. For me, I see things a bit differently because of this or that reason. Maybe we can find a common point or at least understand each other's perspective better.”
Them: “I still think my view is the only right one.”
You: “I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I guess we both have strong opinions on this. Let's agree to respect each other's views.”
By following these strategies, you can handle conversations with difficult individuals more effectively, maintaining your composure and fostering more productive dialogue. But if after applying all these, they still remain adamant, avoid them like a plague for they are only being true to type - idiots! Leave them to continue living in their fool's paradise. One day, the bubble will burst!
*@Otunba Femi Abiola*
*@President*
*@Project Youth Fulfil*
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