@Dealing with Snubbers

@Dealing with Snubbers

At some point, you’ve probably encountered snubbers — people who ignore, belittle, or undermine you, either subtly or outright. Whether it’s the colleague who acts like you don’t exist, the friend who brushes off your presence, or the family member who minimizes your input, dealing with snubbing can be uncomfortable, frustrating, and even hurtful. In my opinion, this 👇is a straightforward guide on how to handle snubbers practically and protect your own peace.

📌Recognize the Behavior for What It Is

First, it’s important to acknowledge when you’re being snubbed and accept that it’s about them, not you. Snubbing can stem from jealousy, insecurity, arrogance, or simply poor social skills. Rather than internalizing it or questioning your worth, remind yourself that their behavior reflects on them, not on you. Recognizing it as their issue gives you a sense of control and prevents you from taking it personally.

📌Assess the Importance of the Relationship

Not all snubs are created equal, and some matter more than others. If the person snubbing you is someone you care about or have to interact with regularly — like a friend, coworker, or family member — it’s worth thinking about why they’re behaving this way. However, if it’s someone you don’t really know or see often, such as an acquaintance or distant contact, you might decide they don’t deserve your energy. Assessing the importance of the relationship can help you decide how to respond.

📌Don’t Chase After Approval

One of the biggest mistakes you can make with snubbers is to seek their approval or attention. Trying to win over someone who is ignoring or belittling you only puts you in a position of vulnerability. Snubbers often expect you to feel hurt, so don’t give them the satisfaction. Stand tall, respect yourself, and remember that you don’t need validation from anyone who treats you poorly.

📌Take the High Road

When someone snubs you, it’s tempting to respond with equal coldness, but this often just fuels the negativity. Instead, maintain your dignity by remaining polite and professional. Don’t stoop to their level or let their behavior dictate yours. By staying calm and composed, you show that their actions don’t affect your confidence or disrupt your peace.

📌Limit Engagement Without Being Rude

If you must interact with a snubber, keep your conversations short and focused. Answer questions, be polite, but don’t go out of your way to be overly friendly or accommodating. Keeping things brief and professional sends the message that you’re not seeking their approval, nor are you affected by their coldness. You’re just doing what you need to do.

📌Use Humor to Diffuse the Situation

Sometimes, humor can be a powerful tool to break tension or neutralize uncomfortable moments. If the snubber makes a dismissive comment or ignores you in a group, a lighthearted or witty response can shift the dynamic. For instance, if someone cuts you off mid-sentence, you might smile and say, “Wow, I didn’t realize my thoughts were that uninteresting!” Using humor shows you’re unfazed and can make the other person aware of their behavior without direct confrontation.

📌Strengthen Connections with Supportive People

One of the best ways to neutralize the impact of a snubber is to surround yourself with people who value and respect you. Lean into your supportive relationships and spend time with those who bring positivity into your life. Healthy relationships can act as a buffer, making it easier to let go of any negativity caused by a snubber.

📌Consider Addressing the Issue Directly

If the snubbing is consistent and it’s affecting your relationship or well-being, it may be worth having a candid conversation. Approach the person privately, stay calm, and use “I” statements to express how their actions make you feel. For instance, you could say, “I’ve noticed that we don’t seem to connect much lately, and it makes me feel overlooked.” Sometimes, people don’t realize the impact of their actions until it’s pointed out, and addressing it can bring about change.

📌Don’t Let It Affect Your Self-Worth

Remember that people’s opinions or behavior towards you do not define your worth. Self-worth comes from within, not from others’ acceptance or approval. Take the snubbing experience as an opportunity to reinforce your own sense of value. Remind yourself that you are worthy of respect and kindness, no matter how someone else chooses to act.

📌Know When to Walk Away

If the snubber is a constant presence in your life and the snubbing is causing you distress, consider creating some distance. Sometimes, the best way to deal with toxic behavior is to remove yourself from it. Walking away doesn’t mean you’re weak or defeated; it’s a choice to protect your peace and prioritize healthier connections.

📌Final Thoughts

Dealing with snubbers can be frustrating, but it doesn’t have to disrupt your peace or self-worth. By recognizing their behavior, setting boundaries, and focusing on supportive relationships, you can keep their negativity from weighing you down. Remember, you have control over how you respond, and sometimes the best response is simply to keep shining and let their behavior roll off you. Stay true to yourself, and don’t let a snubber’s actions define your experience or worth.

*@Otunba Femi Abiola, CMIE*

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*@Project Youth Fulfil*

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