@Resisting the Pressure to Marry
@Resisting the Pressure to Marry: A Guide for Young Bachelors and Spinsters
Marriage is a beautiful institution, but only when entered into at the right time and with the right person. In many cultures, especially in this part of the world, family, friends, and religious leaders often pressure marriageable individuals to settle down quickly. You may have heard statements like, “I want to carry my grandchild,” “All your mates are married already,” or “You can’t get a perfect spouse.” While these words may come from a place of love, they can also push you into making a life-altering decision out of fear rather than conviction.
▪️Your Life, Your Timing
Marriage is not a race. You have a unique journey, and comparing your timeline to that of others will only lead to unnecessary anxiety. Choosing a spouse is one of the most significant decisions of your life, and it requires wisdom, patience, and self-awareness. Rushing into marriage to please others can result in lifelong regret. You deserve to build a relationship based on compatibility, shared values, and genuine love—not pressure.
▪️Handling Family and Social Expectations
Respecting your parents and elders is important, but that does not mean allowing them to dictate your marital choices. Engage in open and honest conversations with them. Let them understand that while marriage is a priority, you are more focused on making the right choice rather than making a hasty one. Assure them that their concerns are valid, but your happiness and future stability matter even more.
Instead of avoiding conversations about marriage, redirect them. If asked when you are getting married, respond with confidence: “At the right time with the right person.” When teased about carrying grandchildren, remind them that a strong and happy marriage is better than a rushed and troubled one.
▪️Know What You Want
External pressure is easier to resist when you have clarity about your own desires and values. Take time to understand yourself—your purpose, aspirations, and non-negotiables in a partner. Marriage should align with your vision for life, not serve as a means to silence external voices.
Waiting for the right partner is not wasting time. It is wisdom. A marriage built on understanding and mutual respect lasts longer than one built on societal approval. You do not need a perfect spouse, but you do need the right one for you. Settling for less out of pressure can lead to emotional pain, regret, and even marital disaster.
▪️Stay Strong, Stay True
Peer pressure, cultural expectations, and family sentiments may never go away completely, but your response to them makes all the difference. Stand firm in your decision, trust your instincts, and wait for love that is worth the commitment. Marriage is not about age or competition; it is about choosing wisely and building a future that brings joy and fulfillment.
Yours in fulfilfillment,
*@Otunba Femi Abiola, CMIE, MCE*
*@President*
*@Project Youth Fulfil*
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