Sometimes We Are Tired Of Being Strong

 @Sometimes We Are Tired Of Being Strong

Sometimes, we are simply tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep can cure, but the kind that settles deep inside the soul. The kind that makes us stare at the ceiling at midnight, wondering how we managed to smile through another day. We wake up, dress up, show up and keep going. We answer, “I’m fine,” because explaining the truth feels harder than carrying the pain. Everyone sees the smile. Everyone sees the strength. Almost nobody sees the silent tears that fall when the door is finally locked and there is no one left to impress.

Some of us have been strong for so long that people have forgotten to ask how we are doing. We became the person everyone calls when they are broken, the shoulder everyone cries on, the voice that says, “It will be alright.” We encourage others while quietly losing courage ourselves. We celebrate their victories while fighting private battles they know nothing about. We tell everyone not to give up while secretly wondering how to find the strength to continue. And sometimes, the cruelest part is that people keep saying, “You are strong,” when what the heart really wants to hear is, “You don't have to be strong around me.”

There are people reading this who have cried in bathrooms so nobody would hear them. People who have wiped their eyes before answering a phone call so their voices would not betray them. People who have gone to bed with unanswered questions, unpaid bills, broken relationships, disappointing realities and fears they cannot put into words. People who have attended celebrations with heavy hearts because life did not give them permission to pause. They showed up anyway. They laughed anyway. They congratulated others anyway. And when they returned home, they became strangers to the world again—alone with the battles they had hidden all day.

Listen, dear friend: you are allowed to be tired. You are allowed to have a day when you cannot carry everyone. You are allowed to cry without apologising for your tears. You are allowed to say, “I need help.” You are allowed to rest without feeling guilty. Even the strongest hands sometimes need another hand to hold them. Even the person who has rescued everyone else may one day need rescuing. Your humanity is not a weakness. Your tears do not cancel your courage. Sometimes, the bravest sentence a strong person can say is, “I am not okay.”

So, if nobody has asked you today, let this be the question: How are you, really? Not the answer you give automatically. Not the smile you wear for the world. How is the person behind the smile? How is the heart that has been pretending not to hurt? How is the soul that has been carrying more than it ever tells anyone? If you are tired, come home to yourself. Put down the burden for a moment. Cry if you must. Rest if you can. And remember this: you do not have to earn the right to be cared for by being endlessly strong. Somewhere, somehow, there must be a place where even the strongest among us can finally remove the armour, breathe through the tears and whisper, “I have carried enough. Let someone carry me for a while.”

Yours in fulfilment,

@Otunba Dr Femi Abiola, MCE

@President

@Project Youth Fulfil

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