@When Life Doesn't Go As Planned
@When Life Doesn't Go As Planned
Life does not always unfold as planned. You set your goals early, charting a perfect roadmap to success. By 22, you must have completed your degree. By 25, you must have built a house and settled down. By 30, you must have been done with childbearing. By 33, you must have become the head of a blue-chip company. However, you have long crossed these ages, yet your dreams seem distant. Disillusionment sets in, and questions torment your mind. Should you become desperate? Should you go reckless or drown in depression? Should you resign to fate, engage in crime, or even contemplate ending it all?
No, you should not.
Unrealized expectations are not the end of life. They are redirections, not rejections. In the Nigerian context, where socio-economic challenges, unstable policies, and limited opportunities often disrupt the best-laid plans, adaptability becomes a virtue. You must rise above frustration, refuse despair, and embrace a resilient mindset that transforms obstacles into stepping stones.
📌Understanding Life’s Unpredictability
Life is not a scripted play. It is a journey of twists and turns, sometimes taking you through rough terrains before leading to your destination. You are not a failure simply because your timeline has not matched your expectations. The most accomplished individuals today once faced setbacks. Colonel Sanders was 65 before he found success with KFC. Abraham Lincoln lost multiple elections before becoming the President of the United States. If their journeys did not follow a straight path, why should yours be different?
In Nigeria, the reality of unemployment, economic hardship, and systemic inefficiencies can delay aspirations. Graduating at 22 does not guarantee immediate employment. Building a house at 25 requires financial stability, which may take longer than anticipated. Rising to the top of a corporate ladder is rarely a straight path. These delays are not personal failures but reflections of life’s unpredictable nature.
đź“ŚDeveloping the Right Perspective
Your mind is your greatest asset in handling unrealized expectations. If you see delays as failures, you will drown in frustration. If you view them as temporary obstacles, you will harness the patience and courage to keep moving. Instead of fixating on timelines, focus on progress. Have you grown in knowledge, skills, or experience? Have you learned lessons that make you wiser? If so, you are advancing, even if your goals remain unmet.
Rather than compare yourself with peers who appear ahead, recognize that each person’s journey is unique. Social media amplifies illusions—people showcase their successes, not their struggles. You do not know the full story behind someone’s achievements. Avoid the pressure of competition and embrace your personal growth.
▪️Practical Steps to Handle Unrealized Expectations
đź“ŚRe-evaluate Your Goals and Timelines
Rigid timelines can become mental prisons. If things have not worked out as planned, reassess your goals. Ask yourself: Are they still realistic given your current circumstances? Do they align with your evolving interests? Adjust your plans where necessary. Delay is not denial; it is an opportunity for refinement.
đź“ŚSeek Alternative Paths
If one road is blocked, another may lead to your destination. You may have envisioned success through a corporate career, but perhaps entrepreneurship offers a better route. You may have planned to build a house early, but investing in smaller assets first may be more practical. Keep your eyes open for alternative opportunities.
đź“ŚAcquire New Skills and Knowledge
Nigeria’s economy is tough, but those who continuously upgrade their skills find ways to thrive. Learn new things—digital skills, vocational trades, or professional certifications. Diversify your expertise. The job you seek may not be available, but the skill you develop could open unexpected doors.
đź“ŚDevelop Emotional and Mental Resilience
Disappointments can drain your emotional strength, but resilience is key. Read uplifting books, listen to motivational messages, and surround yourself with positive influences. Guard your mental health. If you feel overwhelmed, seek counsel from mentors, friends, or professionals. Depression is real, but so is healing.
📌Trust in God’s Timing
In a nation where things often seem unpredictable, faith becomes an anchor. Trust that your journey has a divine purpose. What seems like a delay may be a preparation phase. When the time is right, things will align in ways you never imagined. Stay prayerful, remain diligent, and hold onto hope.
đź“ŚThe Right Response to Unrealized Expectations
Desperation leads to regrettable decisions. Recklessness wastes valuable time. Crime invites destruction. Suicide silences the possibility of a better tomorrow. None of these options solve the problem. Instead, they create irreversible consequences.
Your best response is to keep striving with wisdom, patience, and perseverance. Life rewards those who persist. Even if you have not achieved all you planned, you still have time. Refuse to be defined by what has not happened. Define yourself by your courage to keep going.
You are not a failure because of unrealized expectations. You are a work in progress, a masterpiece in the making. The story of your life is still unfolding, and the best chapters are yet to be written. Keep moving forward. Keep believing. Keep striving. Your dreams are still valid.
Yours in fulfilfilment,
*@Otunba Femi Abiola, CMIE, MCE*
*@President*
*@Project Youth Fulfil*
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