Not Everyone Who Loves You Knows How To Treat You

 @Not Everyone Who Loves You Knows How To Treat You


One of the cruelest experiences in life is to discover that the person you would run to for comfort is the same person you must hide your tears from. You remember how their voice once calmed you, how their presence made difficult days bearable, how you trusted them with the softest parts of your heart. Now, the same relationship leaves you rehearsing conversations before having them, swallowing your pain to avoid another argument, and crying quietly so nobody asks what happened. The tragedy is not always that they stopped loving you. Sometimes, it is that they love you and still keep hurting you.


Some people are not deliberately cruel; they are simply emotionally unequipped to care for another person without causing damage. They confuse possession with protection, silence with peace, control with concern, and repeated apologies with genuine change. They may hold you close while making you feel alone. They may fear losing you while doing little to stop the behaviour that is driving you away. What good is being loved by someone who makes you feel that your feelings are an inconvenience and your dignity is negotiable?


This is also a mirror for those of us who claim to love others. How many times have we said, “That was not my intention,” while refusing to confront the pain our actions caused? How often have we demanded forgiveness without offering transformation? Love is not measured only by the tears we shed when someone threatens to leave. It is measured by the care we exercise before we wound them, the humility we show when corrected, and the changes we make when we realise that our behaviour is turning someone’s safe place into a place of fear.


Let us never romanticise the suffering of people who are only asking to be treated with tenderness. Let us never tell someone to remain where their spirit is steadily being broken simply because “there is love.” Love should not require a person to disappear piece by piece just to keep a relationship alive. Let us learn to love before our care becomes a source of someone’s deepest wounds. And where love repeatedly arrives carrying pain instead of peace, may we find the courage to say: I believe you may love me, but I can no longer afford the way you love me.


Yours in fulfilment,


@Otunba Dr Femi Abiola, MCE

@President

@Project Youth Fulfil


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