When Favour Becomes an Entitlement: Protect Your Peace!

@When Favour Becomes an Entitlement: Protect Your Peace!


One of life's most exhausting experiences is having loved ones who mistake your kindness for an obligation. There is a fundamental difference between entitlement and favour. Entitlement is a perceived right to something, while favour is a voluntary act of kindness that deserves appreciation, not enforced compliance. Being family, a spouse, a child, a friend or an associate does not automatically give anyone unlimited access to your resources. Relationships may create responsibilities, but they do not confer an unlimited licence to make demands. Nobody becomes your permanent creditor simply because you have been generous.


Sadly, some people quickly forget yesterday's sacrifices the moment today's request is not met. They take repeated favours for granted, become offended by one inability, magnify your shortcomings and conveniently erase your history of kindness. Some are not necessarily interested in your wellbeing; they are interested in what they can continually extract from you. They celebrate your capacity to provide but resent your humanity when you have limitations. What a tragedy to be surrounded by people who record your inadequacies more faithfully than they appreciate your sacrifices!


Never allow anybody to emotionally blackmail you into destroying yourself to satisfy their expectations. Your inability to meet a demand does not make you irresponsible, wicked or uncaring. You are human, not an endless reservoir of resources. You have personal needs, obligations, limitations and a life to live. Do not mortgage your health, peace of mind or future to maintain an image of perpetual availability. Learn to say NO without guilt, establish healthy boundaries, communicate honestly and give within your capacity. Help willingly, not under intimidation.


One of life's greatest blessings is having goodhearted family members and friends who love you unconditionally, appreciate your sacrifices and understand when circumstances change. Such people do not turn affection into an invoice or weaponise your generosity against you. Equally, become the kind of person you wish to have around you: appreciative, considerate, forgiving and understanding. Love should never become a debt you can never finish paying. Value those who stand by you, but never surrender your wellbeing to those who only value what they can get from you. Your kindness is a gift, not a compulsory subscription!


Yours in fulfilment,


@Otunba Dr Femi Abiola, MCE

@President

@Project Youth Fulfil


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